A 7-day cruise showed me the pattern I couldn't see. š
I got home from a 7-day cruise on Sunday, crashed hard, woke up to an article I didnāt publish on my Substack, and spent two more days in bed recovering.
Not from the cruise.
From the emotional work of trying to survive a week where my nervous system was screaming and nobody around me could hear it.
Hereās what Iām still sitting with: Why did I abandon my own boundaries so easily?
And more importantly: What does this have to do with how I run my business?
Everything.
Want to understand why your body may have responded the way mine did?
Read about why I went carnivore 130 days ago and how it changed everything about my business clarity and decision-making.
š¢ What Went Wrong
Let me walk you through this week, because the logistics matter less than what they meant to my body.
Three days before departure: My friend says to me: āIām bringing many outfits for this trip.ā
Then my brain shifts. If sheās bringing that much, maybe I should too. What if I need options? What if I look weird wearing the same things repeatedly?
So I rethink my plan. Suddenly Iām packing two full bags plus my pillow (non-negotiable for my neck + spine). Iām stressed, overwhelmed, up until 2am despite needing to leave at 6am.
Decision made: Someone elseās choice became my problem. āļø
My friend wasnāt telling me to pack more. She was just sharing her plan. But I interpreted it as a signal that I should match. And instead of honoring my own plan, I abandoned it to match hers.
This is classic me. I see someone elseās choice and immediately adjust mine to match. Not because they asked. But because I donāt trust that my different choice is okay.
The day before: I realize I need water shoes for the excursion. I spend an entire day shopping looking for comfortable ones. Canāt find any. I resort to old shoes Iād worn once years ago - so old Iād completely forgotten why I only wore them that one time. Turns out: they gave me blisters. But they were too cute to throw out and they werenāt cheap, so I kept them.
Terrible decision.
Days 1-2 (At sea): Iām already depleted before we even get started. My nervous system is activated. Iām carrying too much. My feet hurt. Iām around people 24/7 in a confined space.
Day 3 (Butterfly Sanctuary & Waterfall Walk): Back-to-back activities. Walking in nature with blistered feet. No downtime. No space to recover. Iām pushing through pain instead of honoring what my body is telling me.
Then, midway through the journey, we learned we could rent water shoes. Music to my feet! This completely saved my experience for the rest of the excursion. I could actually walk, enjoy the nature, and be present with my partner.
Hereās what made Day 3 actually work: I got to stand surrounded by thousands of butterflies. I learned how to roll a cigar (random but memorable). And I made a choice Iām proud of: when the guide offered us to jump off into a waterfall, I said no. More like my body said hell no.
And I listened. I could actually enjoy the rest of the day because Iād made one boundary-honoring choice. Yes, I had a massive blister that would have me limping the rest of the week - but I salvaged the excursion experience by course-correcting midway.
Days 4-5 (Magens Bay & Jost Van Dyke): More excursions. More walking. More pushing. Every meal is a conversation I have to navigate. Iām carrying food requests and autoimmune logistics while trying to just... be present.
What I experienced: Isolation. The feeling of being different. Exhaustion.
š The Part Iām Still Sitting With
Hereās what I learned: I brought special collagen powder, supplements, electrolytes, my back pod, my own salt. I prepared for my bodyās needs.
Instead of staying firm in my commitment to myself, by midway through the trip I was exhausted. I was sick of asking for plain burger meat on days we didnāt have specialty dinner plans. I was tired of being the person with āspecial needs.ā So I compromised. I ate what was available and hoped it wouldnāt trigger a flare. I did activities even though my feet screamed.
By day 5, my body was done.
My nervous system was completely activated. My body was screaming: Stop. You need rest. You need to listen to me.
And then I listened. Finally.
By day 6, my body wasnāt asking anymore - it was demanding. And for the first time on that trip, I responded.
Thatās when everything shifted.
š What Changed Everything
By day 6, I was sick.
I had pushed through a whole week of not listening to my body. I had ignored my own signals. I had overcommitted to the pace and paid the price.
My nervous system was completely activated. My body was screaming. I could either:
Keep pushing and make it worse
Actually listen this time
On day 6, I chose me.
I signed up for the spa package and spent the entire day in the spa and in my cabin resting. I told the group, āIām taking today to recover.ā
And you know what happened?
I got well enough to snorkel and enjoy Aruba on day 7.
My body didnāt break more. It healed.
Because I finally - finally - listened to what it was telling me and actually acted on it.
Hereās what I learned:
Grace isnāt abandoning your commitments to yourself. Grace is knowing when to pivot to protect your health.
I brought electrolytes and collagen and my back pod. When I couldnāt get plain meat, I ate what I could and trusted my supplements to support me. Not perfect. But honest.
I couldnāt change the ship. But I could change my schedule. I couldnāt control everything around me. But I could control how I responded.
And hereās the business lesson: The moment I stopped apologizing for my boundaries, things got easier.
š„ The Business Connection Beyond The Cruise
Hereās what actually happened on that cruise:
My nervous system got upset. Inflammation. Then the negative thoughts started creeping in, trying to steal my power.
Iām a failure. They donāt get it. No one believes my health issues. Iām so over defending myself. Just leave me alone.
I was hitting a brick wall. I was undernourished. My friend was desperately just wanting me to eat something - anything. And I felt like I was swimming on a raft at sea alone, with no one to save me.
Thatās when I paused.
I collected my thoughts. I held them captive in the moment. I breathed. I let it all be okay.
Then I asked myself the real question: What can I create newly right now that would have my body win AND have me feel Iām still committed to honoring my nervous system?
And also, who do I need to be about this?
I chose to be open to trying other āsomewhat safeā foods. I chose to fuel my body. I chose to let go that it might cause a flare. I chose to accept that risk.
I chose to be open to both fuel and friendship.
Thatās staying grounded to your commitment. Not perfectly. Not rigidly. But honestly.
In my business, thatās what Iām learning to do. When communication doesnāt land. When I feel thwarted. When the old way isnāt working - I pause. I collect myself. I breathe. Then I ask: What do I need to support myself right now and who can I be about it?
And that shift changes everything.
š Questions Iām Still Sitting With
I got home Sunday, crashed, woke to an incomplete article on my Substack, and realized: Iām still recovering from not honoring my own needs.
And I have to ask myself the hard questions:
š„ Why do I abandon my boundaries when the pace gets intense?
š Who am I that my nervous system integrity becomes less important than fitting in?
š¤ļø What would it look like to stay firmer in my own lane, even when others are moving differently?
Because hereās what I know: My job is not to make my needs smaller so others feel comfortable. My job is to honor what my body is telling me - clearly, kindly, and without apology.
The people I love may not always understand autoimmune conditions. They may move at a different pace. They may have different relationships with food or rest or boundaries.
That doesnāt mean my bodyās needs are less valid.
And it doesnāt mean I get to override them to make the group more comfortable.
šæ What Iād Do Differently
If I did this cruise again:
āļø Plan fewer excursions. Max 1-2 total, not back-to-back. My nervous system needs integration time, not constant stimulation.
āļø Build in spa/rest days BEFORE Iām sick. Not after. Prevention, not emergency intervention.
āļø Trust my bodyās signals about shoes, packing, food, everything. I knew something was off about my shoes. I knew two bags was too much. I knew back-to-back excursions would drain me. But I overrode myself anyway.
āļø Make the boundary clear upfront: Hereās my capacity. Hereās what I need to stay regulated. Iām going to honor that, even if it means different choices than the group.
āļø Spend money on my recovery without guilt. The spa wasnāt a luxury, it was survival. Thatās how I need to think about it.
But the bigger lesson is this:
You canāt create a sustainable business while abandoning a sustainable life.
If youāre overriding your body on vacation, youāre probably overriding it in your business too.
If youāre ignoring your signals to fit the pace of a group, youāre ignoring them to fit the pace of your clients.
If youāre pushing through pain instead of protecting your boundaries, youāre doing it in every area of your life.
The cruise didnāt teach me about vacations. It taught me about what happens when I donāt trust myself enough to hold my own line.
š What Iām Taking Into the Holidays
Hereās what I know now that I didnāt know before that cruise:
Boundaries arenāt walls. Theyāre design choices.
When I chose the spa on day 6, I wasnāt abandoning my commitments. I was redesigning my day to honor what my body needed. Thatās not weak. Thatās strategic.
And hereās the part that matters for your business:
The same nervous system that needs boundaries on vacation needs them in your business too.
If youāre pushing through pain to meet a deadline, ignoring your bodyās signals to keep a client happy, or overriding your capacity to match someone elseās pace, youāre doing what I did on that cruise.
Youāre treating your nervous system like itās optional.
Itās not.
š If youāre heading into the holidays wondering how to protect your nervous system while still showing up for family, clients, and year-end goals:
I created something specifically for this.
āØ The Holiday Cheesecake Nervous System Workshop š°
Instead of just handing you a worksheet, I decided to walk you through this live ā calmly, visually, and at a pace your nervous system can actually keep up with.
The Holiday Cheesecake Nervous Systemā¢ Workshop walks you through the exact questions I wish I had learned to ask sooner:
š Where am I already overcommitted?
š What would honoring my real capacity actually look like right now?
š How do I communicate boundaries without guilt or over-explaining?
This isnāt about fixing yourself or powering through the holidays.
Itās a gentle + fun framework for designing days (and seasons) that resource you instead of deplete you.
Inside the workshop, youāll:
watch me walk through the map step-by-step
complete your own Nervous System Cheesecake in real time
learn how to reuse this as a weekly or seasonal reset
leave with more clarity, steadiness, and self-trust
I made this pay-what-you-want so cost isnāt the thing that gets in the way.
š Join the Holiday Nervous System Cheesecakeā¢ Workshop here
Not sure if your nervous system is already maxed out?
Take the Business Health Resetā¢ Quiz in 10 minutes. Itāll show you whether youāre operating in protection mode or growth mode + what that means for your business capacity right now.
And if you know someone who needs to hear thisā¦who is ignoring their bodyās signals, overriding the data - would you please forward this to them. Sometimes we need permission from someone else to finally listen. =)
š Food For Thought
Before you close this tab, please sit with these questions:
š Where have I been overriding my bodyās signals to match someone elseās pace?
š What would it look like to design my schedule around my capacity instead of against it?
š Who in my life would actually support me if I held firmer boundaries?
š One Last Thing
If this story landed for you, if youāve been abandoning your own boundaries to keep everyone else comfortable - youāre not broken.
Youāre just learning what Iām learning: Your health isnāt a luxury. Itās the foundation.
And the moment you start treating it that way, everything else gets easier.
Not perfect. Not rigid. Just honest.
From maxed out to mapped out. āØ